We Gloomily Search for Intense Experiences

Wabi sabi (侘寂) is a Japanese philosophy that teaches acceptance of imperfection, transience, and simplicity. "Wabi" refers to the beauty of humility and modesty, while "sabi" points to the beauty born from the passage of time, aging, and natural change. Wabi sabi does not attempt to pretend that the world is perfect—on the contrary, it urges us to see authenticity and value in what is imperfect, fragile, and ephemeral. This approach shatters the illusion of perfection, instead reminding us that life, like old, mended kintsugi pottery, is beautiful precisely because of its imperfections.

In recent years, wabi sabi has gained popularity in the West. Unfortunately, it is often drastically oversimplified. It is not, in fact, an interior design style or a trend of wearing natural fabrics—it is a way of looking at life that stands in opposition to the culture of relentless perfectionism, the obsession with "more and better," and the fear of transience. It invites us to slow down, pay attention to ordinary things, and understand that real beauty does not require gloss or perfect polish.

Why is it so difficult for us to find joy in small moments? Because we have been taught that happiness must be intense, extraordinary, spectacular. Listening to birdsong or eating a simple, seasonal dish seems too small to bring joy. Yet it is precisely these moments—when we stop to feel the scent of morning coffee or the touch of wind on our face—that are the true essence of life. Instead, we crave the best things, "to the max," absolutely exceptional and "amazing"—no wonder we walk around unhappy.

Wabi sabi reminds us: life is not a race nor a project that requires flawless completion. It is an unfinished process—full of unevenness, cracks, and moments waiting to be noticed. So how can we stop fighting ourselves and learn to live in the spirit of wabi sabi? Let’s find out.

What Is the Concept of Wabi Sabi?

Wabi sabi is a philosophy that teaches us to view the world through the lens of acceptance—acceptance of imperfection, transience, and simplicity. It is like a gentle whisper reminding us that life does not need to be perfect. Wabi sabi is about finding harmony in what is incomplete, fleeting, and everyday, yet profoundly valuable. It does not demand resignation or passive acceptance of reality; rather, it teaches the art of seeing hidden beauty where most see only chaos, decay, or ordinariness.

In contrast to Western ideals of perfection and consumerism, wabi sabi does not force us to "improve" everything around us. Western culture often glorifies what is new, shiny, symmetrical, and smooth. Perfect appearances, meticulously planned careers, or gleaming interiors—these are standards that rarely align with reality. Wabi sabi challenges these values, reminding us that beauty can be found in objects bearing the marks of time, in cracks and unevenness—in authenticity that requires neither embellishment nor pretense.

What Do the Words 'Wabi' and 'Sabi' Mean?

The word "wabi" (侘) originally signified simplicity and modesty, often associated with living in harmony with nature, and carried connotations of solitude and melancholy. Over time, it came to also mean peace derived from limiting desires and material ambitions. "Wabi" is about appreciating the beauty of simple things that carry the essence of everyday life—like a rough wooden table or a cup with an uneven rim, reminding us it was handmade.

On the other hand, "sabi" (寂) refers to the beauty of transience, the passage of time, aging, and gentle decay, which are inherent aspects of life. Originally, it was linked to meanings such as "abandonment," "silence," and "solitude." "Sabi" encompasses melancholy but also reverence for what is old and worn. It is admiration for patina, rust, or cracked clay—those subtle signs of life that give objects and places their soul.

Together, these terms form a philosophy that celebrates what is fleeting, authentic, and natural. Wabi sabi reminds us that everything—both objects and human life—is in a constant process of change, and it is this very quality that makes them beautiful.

Where Does the Term Wabi Sabi Come From?

The roots of wabi sabi are deeply tied to the Japanese tea ceremony (茶の湯 - chanoyū), which was originally a simple ritual fostering mindfulness and contemplation. In the 14th century, this ceremony evolved into a more refined and luxurious practice, especially among Japanese elites, including Shogun Ashikaga Yoshimitsu. During this period, opulent interiors and Chinese porcelain became symbols of status and power, contrary to the ceremony's original spirit.

A shift occurred in the 15th century thanks to Murata Shukō, a Zen monk and tea master, who advocated a return to simplicity. Murata believed that beauty lay in rustic, handmade utensils far from perfection yet expressing authenticity and naturalness. He defined an aesthetic that later became the foundation of wabi sabi.

A practical and symbolic expression of this philosophy is the art of kintsugi (more on this here: Kintsugi), or repairing broken pottery with golden lacquer. Kintsugi teaches that cracks and signs of use are part of an object's history, and highlighting them—instead of hiding them—makes it even more beautiful. Wabi sabi and kintsugi, rooted in Buddhist concepts of impermanence and acceptance, remind us that what seems broken can become a source of new beauty.

Living Wabi Sabi

Living according to the principles of wabi sabi is not just a philosophical theory but, above all, a practice that influences every aspect of our daily lives. It is a mindset that allows us to find peace and joy in a world full of imperfections, impermanence, and constant change. In the following points, we will explore its fundamental principles—how wabi sabi helps us to:

• accept ourselves,
• celebrate the present moment,
• simplify life,
• see wisdom in transience,
• build deep relationships,
• and bravely embrace imperfection as the key to authenticity.

Nothing here is mandatory, but each of these principles can be a step toward a fuller life, more aligned with who we truly are. Less struggle with ideals means more energy for something creative.

1. Acceptance of Imperfection

The first step on the path of wabi sabi is to recognize that our imperfections are an integral part of our identity. What we perceive as "flaws"—emotional scars, physical traces of life, our weaknesses—do not make us less valuable. On the contrary, it is these very elements that add depth and beauty to our stories. Wabi sabi encourages us to stop hiding these aspects of ourselves and to start seeing them as "golden seams" in our personality—much like the art of kintsugi, where the cracks in pottery are repaired with gold, turning them into the most unique and beautiful feature of the piece. While the saying "what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger" may not always hold true—some scars neither make us stronger nor more beautiful—it remains a reality that exists regardless of whether we like it or not. Failing to accept the rain on a rainy day will not make anyone happier.

In daily life, kintsugi can serve as a metaphor for our experiences. Every loss, failure, or hardship leaves its mark, but it is through these marks that we have become who we are today. Wabi sabi reminds us that instead of striving for unrealistic perfection, we should focus on authenticity. Beauty lies not in being "ideal" but in being yourself—fully, without masks or fear of judgment. In other words, it’s about looking at oneself without valuation. No judgments—neither negative nor positive. "Werde, der du bist"—"Become who you are." Wabi sabi shares much in common with Friedrich Nietzsche.

The pursuit of perfection in our world is like battling one’s own shadow—endless, exhausting, and unwinnable. Wabi sabi offers a different approach: don’t strive for perfection, "become who you are." This means accepting oneself in all one’s variability and imperfection—as an ever-evolving, unfinished being, and therefore alive and authentic. Wabi sabi does not demand that we be "better" according to imposed standards but rather that we have the courage to accept the truth about ourselves. Only in this honesty with ourselves can we find peace, which comes not from struggle but from reconciliation with what is.

2. Mindfulness and Presence

Wabi sabi (and the related concept of mono no aware) teaches that life unfolds here and now—not in the past, which cannot be changed, nor in the future, which cannot be predicted. The present moment is the only place where we truly live, and mindfulness is the ability to immerse oneself in it fully. It is precisely in the everyday, seemingly insignificant moments—the scent of morning coffee, the soft light of noon streaming through the window, or the sound of rain tapping on the roof—that the true essence of life lies. Wabi sabi reminds us not to seek ecstasy in grand events but to find joy in the small experiences that often escape our attention.

One of the inspirations behind wabi sabi is the tea ceremony—a ritual that demands full presence in the moment. Every gesture, from boiling water to pouring tea into a cup, is performed slowly and thoughtfully, celebrating both the process and its outcome. This exercise in mindfulness teaches that even the simplest tasks can be imbued with meaning when done with attention. In our daily lives, we can find our own "tea ceremonies"—whether it’s a daily walk to work, tending to plants, or preparing a meal. The key is focusing on the present moment and treating these tasks not as obligations but as opportunities for reflection and pause.

Mindfulness in the spirit of wabi sabi also involves living in harmony with nature. One Japanese practice that perfectly illustrates this idea is shinrin-yoku—"forest bathing." It involves consciously spending time in the forest, not for physical activity but for immersion in the atmosphere of the trees, their scents, sounds, and rhythms. Anyone who has practiced mindfulness will understand—it is an exercise in fully concentrating on all the stimuli reaching the senses while in the forest.

Practicing mindfulness in the spirit of wabi sabi does not require special skills or extraordinary circumstances. It is enough to stop for a moment and open oneself to what is happening around us. However, it is not a skill that comes easily. Like everything of value in life, it requires practice and continuous effort. Nonetheless, it is not difficult to try—start with one simple activity a day, such as mindfully brewing coffee or spending a few minutes observing nature through the window.

3. Simplicity and Minimalism

Wabi sabi teaches us that simplicity is not merely an aesthetic choice or a fashionable trend but a profound philosophy of life. It is not so much about having less as it is about the ability to appreciate what we already have. In a world that constantly urges us to chase "more"—more things, achievements, experiences—wabi sabi reminds us of an essential truth recognized by modern psychology: the pursuit of "more and more" is a spiral that forces us to seek increasingly intense experiences to maintain a similar level of satisfaction. Stopping, even for a moment, is painful. It is a beneficial arrangement for many forces in the world—mainly those selling something. But never for the individual.

Simplicity is not about deprivation but about returning to authenticity, where we discard what is unnecessary to make space for what truly matters. Material chaos often reflects the state of our minds. An excess of things—useless objects, piles of unread books, impulsive purchases—creates not only clutter in our homes but also overwhelms us emotionally and mentally. Minimalism in the spirit of wabi sabi does not mean emptiness or austerity. It is about consciously choosing objects that have meaning—things with history, soul, and signs of time, reminding us of what is truly valuable. Every item we keep should serve a purpose—whether functional or symbolic—and enrich our lives.

Conscious tidying in the philosophy of wabi sabi becomes a spiritual practice. Letting go of things that bring neither joy nor utility is an act of introspection. Each object invites us to ask ourselves, "Does this support my life, or does it burden me?" Decluttering is not just a physical action but also a mental process—it allows us to free ourselves from emotions and memories that weigh us down. In this way, reducing external chaos contributes to inner peace.

An example of simplicity in the spirit of wabi sabi might be choosing an object that bears the marks of time—like an old table with a scratched surface or a handmade cup with an uneven rim. Each of these objects tells a story and reminds us of the connections between us and the world. Instead of buying new, perfect items, wabi sabi encourages us to find beauty in what we already have, in what endures despite its imperfections.

4. Transience as a Source of Wisdom

Wabi sabi is based on a deep understanding that everything in life is transient. Transience—though often a source of fear—is, in fact, the key to discovering a deeper meaning of existence. The Japanese concept of mono no aware, closely related to wabi sabi, emphasizes a melancholic awareness of this transience. It is not a destructive sadness but rather a subtle emotion that arises when we realize that moments, objects, and people are precious precisely because they are not eternal. As the Japanese poet and monk Saigyō wrote, "Cherry blossoms are most beautiful when they are about to fall."

In daily life, caring for plants can serve as a reminder of nature's cycles and the inevitability of change. Planting seeds, observing their growth, and then their decline—when leaves yellow and fall—teaches us patience and acceptance. This process does not end with the death of the plant, as its remains nourish the soil, completing the cycle of life. It is a reminder that our own lives are part of a larger rhythm of nature, where birth, change, and departure are not only inevitable but also beautiful. Although we all know this—it may even sound banal—why does the awareness of it strike us with such force when death enters our lives?

5. The Passage of Time and the Wisdom It Brings

Transience is also visible in the process of aging. In Western culture, youth is often glorified, while old age is seen as a loss of value. Wabi sabi offers a different perspective: wrinkles on the face or gray hair are records of a life lived—testimonies of joy, sorrow, experiences, and wisdom. Japanese literature has repeatedly emphasized the value of aging.

A compelling example of embracing aging is the Japanese tradition of appreciating objects marked by the patina of time—from cracked tea bowls to old masters of calligraphy, whose brushstrokes gained character with age. In the culture of wabi sabi, it is not novelty but the history contained within an object that makes it beautiful. Similarly, our bodies and minds gain depth as time passes.

Transience is not an enemy. It is a teacher, showing us how to live more fully—here and now. Accepting that everything around us is impermanent allows us to appreciate the present moment in all its beauty.

6. Relationships and Emotional Authenticity

Human relationships, like life itself, are full of imperfections. Wabi sabi encourages us to view these imperfections not as obstacles but as natural and beautiful aspects of every connection. There is a particular word for this concept: uketamo (受けたも), meaning “humble acceptance” of things as they are. In the context of relationships, it signifies accepting both ourselves and others—not trying to change, fix, or mold them to fit our expectations. This attitude does not equate to passivity but requires courage to allow oneself and others to be authentic.

In relationships, we often seek an ideal—a partner who always understands, a friend who never disappoints. However, wabi sabi teaches that the beauty of relationships lies not in their perfection but in their authenticity. Imperfection, conflict, or misunderstanding can be not just challenges but also opportunities for growth. Like in the art of kintsugi, the cracks in our bonds—when repaired with care, openness, and sincerity—can make them stronger and more valuable than before (though this is not guaranteed—moderation is essential in everything).

Authenticity in relationships begins with ourselves. Only by accepting ourselves can we create a space where others also feel accepted. Being authentic does not mean a lack of self-reflection but rather an awareness of our weaknesses, emotions, and desires—and a willingness to express them without fear of judgment. Openness is not easy; it requires the bravery to risk that our true "self" might be rejected. Yet, in this honesty lies the greatest potential for deep, fulfilling relationships.

Understanding imperfection in relationships also involves coming to terms with the fact that no bond remains unchanged in its original form. People change, and relationships evolve. Wabi sabi reminds us that this transience, these changes, are part of their beauty.

7. Courage in Imperfection

Wabi sabi reminds us that life is a process—a continuous transformation, without a clearly defined end or ultimate "ideal." In this context, accepting our own mistakes is not a sign of weakness but evidence of courage and wisdom. Imperfection is not an obstacle but a space for growth.

Examples of this courage can be found in the great figures of history, who found beauty and value in their failures. Yoshida Kenkō, author of Essays in Idleness, wrote that the most can be learned from unfinished things, as it is their imperfection and openness to interpretation that give them meaning. In his view, incompleteness and imperfection were more intriguing and truthful than ideal works. Similarly, Vincent van Gogh, despite facing rejection and criticism, continued to create, believing that true artistic expression lay in acts of imperfection.

Courage in imperfection also means battling the fear of judgment. In a world that rewards perfection and harshly criticizes every mistake, it is difficult to embrace one’s own incompleteness. Yet wabi sabi offers another approach: understanding that human worth does not depend on external judgment but on internal alignment with oneself. As Otagaki Rengetsu, a poet and artist who endured immense personal tragedies, wrote: "Beauty is the silence of the soul that accepts itself as it is." Her life, filled with loss and suffering, was also a testament to the strength that comes from acceptance.

In daily life, wabi sabi can help us view mistakes as marks that shape our identity. Whether it is a professional misstep that forces us to reflect or challenging relationships that teach us patience and empathy, every imperfect experience can become a "golden seam" in our personality. Like in the art of kintsugi, mistakes are not something to hide but something that gives our story its unique character.

Wabi sabi does not demand that we stop growing but invites us to change our perspective—from comparing ourselves to unrealistic standards to authentic growth at our own pace. Courage in imperfection also involves accepting that we are "in process"—always changing, never complete, and therefore authentically alive. It is an invitation to live without fear of mistakes and to embrace life as it is—raw, beautiful, and full of possibilities.

How to Practice Wabi Sabi in Everyday Life

Wabi sabi, although a philosophy broadly addressing our attitudes toward life, does not require grand gestures or radical changes. Its essence is simplicity—the possibility of introducing small practices that gradually permeate all aspects of life. It is fidelity to daily moments, their celebration, and conscious presence that allow us to fully experience the beauty of life.

Practicing wabi sabi can begin with small rituals. Morning coffee or tea can become our daily ceremony—a moment to pause and focus. All it takes is a moment to notice its aroma, the warmth of the cup in our hands, and the pleasure of the act of drinking. Similarly, solitary cloud-watching or listening to rain tapping on the window can become symbolic "baths" in the present moment. It is not the activity but the attention with which we engage in it that makes these moments special.

Finding joy in small things is the heart of this philosophy. Eating seasonal dishes, listening to birdsong, feeling the wind on our face—all these teach us that beauty is always around us if we only take the time to notice it.

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"Strong Japanese Women"

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    未開    ソビエライ

 An enthusiast of Asian culture with a deep appreciation for the diverse philosophies of the world. By education, a psychologist and philologist specializing in Korean studies. At heart, a programmer (primarily for Android) and a passionate technology enthusiast, as well as a practitioner of Zen and mono no aware. In moments of tranquility, adheres to a disciplined lifestyle, firmly believing that perseverance, continuous personal growth, and dedication to one's passions are the wisest paths in life. Author of the book "Strong Women of Japan" (>>see more)

Personal motto:

"The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest." - Albert Einstein (probably)

  Mike Soray

   (aka Michał Sobieraj)

未開    ソビエライ

 An enthusiast of Asian culture with a deep appreciation for the diverse philosophies of the world. By education, a psychologist and philologist specializing in Korean studies. At heart, a programmer (primarily for Android) and a passionate technology enthusiast, as well as a practitioner of Zen and mono no aware. In moments of tranquility, adheres to a disciplined lifestyle, firmly believing that perseverance, continuous personal growth, and dedication to one's passions are the wisest paths in life. Author of the book "Strong Women of Japan" (>>see more)

Personal motto:

"The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest." - Albert Einstein (probably)

Mike Soray

(aka Michał Sobieraj)

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