Minimalism and Restraint: Japanese Cemeteries and Their Customs
Walking through cemetery paths...
November 1st—All Saints’ Day in Poland—is approaching. For this occasion, today’s article will discuss how Japan commemorates the deceased and, more specifically, what Japanese cemeteries are like, how to conduct oneself there, and the customs surrounding this sphere.
From the first step, one can feel an atmosphere of restraint and minimalism, quite different from the colorful, often ornate cemeteries familiar in the West. These carefully designed spaces are dominated by subdued colors and simple forms, and gravestones and sotoba (卒塔婆)—narrow wooden plaques inscribed with the Buddhist names of the deceased—along with accompanying incense and water bowls are essential elements of each visit.
A visit to a Japanese cemetery requires not only reflection but also familiarity with various rituals of purification and remembrance. In Japan, death does not sever the connection with loved ones—the deceased return spiritually to the living during the three-day Obon Festival (お盆) to symbolically participate in family gatherings that conclude with the Obon Odori dance. Lanterns, often arranged into giant kanji characters visible from above, serve as guides for the spirits of the deceased, who return to reunite with family.
Today, we’ll delve into some Japanese rituals associated with visiting graves and the deceased: from cleansing one’s hands at chozubachi (stone water basins), to the significance of wooden plaques and customs related to posthumous naming. Although these themes often appear in the background of Japanese pop culture, they are rarely explained, leaving Western audiences with limited understanding.
What a Modern Japanese Cemetery Looks Like
What a Modern Japanese Cemetery Looks Like
Modern Japanese cemeteries are places that surprise with their simplicity and tranquility, offering a stark contrast to European cemeteries, often filled with colorful flowers, statues, and decorative gravestones. In Japan, subdued, minimalist elements dominate, conveying calm and harmony characteristic of the local aesthetic rather than opulence.
The primary element of most Japanese graves is the gravestone (hakaishi, 墓石)—a simple, vertical stone usually made of dark gray or black granite. Gravestones are often inscribed with the names of the deceased, as well as prayers or Buddhist mantras meant to ensure peace for the departed. Unlike Polish cemeteries, where gravestones are typically low and flat, Japanese gravestones are columnar, resembling simple pillars.
Near the gravestones, you’ll find sotoba (卒塔婆)—narrow, wooden plaques inscribed with the names of the deceased and Buddhist symbols, placed by the graves on death anniversaries. Over the years, additional sotoba are added, forming a vertical row of wooden markers that resemble guardians watching over the memory of the deceased. The sotoba carry a Buddhist name given to the deceased by a monk after death, avoiding the invocation of their secular name—a custom foreign to Polish tradition.
Next to the gravestones are small stands for flowers and places for incense (senkō, 線香). During visits, families bring flowers, typically chrysanthemums, which symbolize impermanence, and light incense, whose aroma fills the air, linking the worlds of the living and the dead. Incense burning is an essential part of the ritual—the rising smoke symbolizes prayers and requests sent to the souls. Flowers are placed on both sides of the gravestone.
A unique feature is the water bowl (jōsui, 浄水) placed on or next to the gravestone. Water is poured over the gravestone during visits as a symbolic gesture of quenching the soul’s thirst. There is a deeply rooted belief in Japan that souls can suffer from thirst or hunger, so making such offerings expresses care for their spiritual peace.
Modern Japanese cemeteries often combine traditional elements with modern ones. Stone lanterns (tōrō, 灯籠), placed near gravestones, symbolize the light of enlightenment. These subtle additions have no practical function—they are an element of aesthetics and spirituality.
The appearance of Japanese cemeteries is calm and harmonious, free of bright colors, and gravestones are often shaded by cherry or maple trees, which add charm during the blooming season or in autumn.
How Are Japanese People Buried?
In Japan, the vast majority of the deceased are cremated—99.9% of funerals end in cremation, one of the highest rates worldwide. It is important to dispel the stereotype that Japan’s high population density forces them to cremate bodies rather than bury them. This tradition dates back to the 8th century, when Buddhist customs became widely accepted. Cremation aligns with Buddhist beliefs and practices—established long before population density became an issue.
In Japan, cremation doesn’t end with simply handing over the urn with ashes. For the Japanese, it is a moment of special closeness and farewell with the deceased, though what follows may seem unusual to Westerners. After cremation, bone fragments remain, which family members, with great reverence, transfer into the urn using special, long chopsticks.
In a key moment of the ritual, two family members simultaneously grasp the same bone fragment, a gesture with deep symbolic meaning: it represents shared grief, family bond, and a collective farewell to the loved one. This ceremony, known as “ko-tsugi” (骨つぎ, literally “joining bones”), is a very intimate ritual, emphasizing the deceased’s unique place within the family and honoring a tradition that stretches back centuries.
In Western cultures, cremation typically ends with the delivery of the ashes in an urn, without an additional ritual associated with handling them. The ashes are treated as a single material, whereas in Japan, the remains are carefully sorted—the larger bone fragments are placed in the urn, a process more akin to a spiritual passage than a simple deposition of ashes. For the Japanese, preserving the integrity of the larger bones is important, as they are placed in the family grave as a symbolic “return” to the ancestors.
Purification Practices Before Entering and After Returning from the Cemetery
In Japan, each visit to the cemetery involves purification rituals, ensuring spiritual and physical cleanliness both before and after visiting graves. Purification before entering the cemetery is a symbolic gesture of respect for the deceased and an expression of concern for the spiritual purity of visitors.
At the entrance to many Japanese cemeteries, one may find a basin or stone vessel with water, called chozubachi (手水鉢), used for ritual hand washing. Water symbolizes purification, and the ritual of washing hands and (less commonly) rinsing the mouth is similar to what is practiced at Shinto shrines. Visitors take water with a small ladle (hishaku, 柄杓) and rinse their hands and mouths, symbolically removing impurities and preparing for contact with the spirits of ancestors.
After returning from the cemetery, in some regions of Japan and according to family traditions, a purification ritual with salt, called shioharai (塩払い), is performed to “cleanse” the body and prevent “bringing death” into the home. Salt serves as a symbol of protection against impurities and spirits—it creates a barrier protecting against the influence of the world of the dead. After leaving the cemetery, before entering the house, visitors sprinkle salt on their shoulders, backs, and legs, and then gently brush it off. Salt symbolically “cuts off” any negative energies or spiritual impurities that might follow the visitor into their home. This cleansing was an essential element of Japanese death-related rituals, which separate the world of the dead from the world of the living, ensuring peace for both sides. Today, it is becoming increasingly rare.
Sotoba Plaques and the Names of the Deceased
In Japanese cemeteries, by the graves, one finds items called sotoba (卒塔婆)—narrow, wooden plaques with deep spiritual meaning. The word “sotoba” (卒塔婆) comes from the Sanskrit stūpa, meaning tower or stupa, a Buddhist sacred structure containing relics. Thus, sotoba symbolizes stupas and aims to spiritually connect the deceased with Buddhist teachings, ensuring peace in the afterlife. Each plaque commemorates the anniversary of a loved one’s death, and placing it by the grave is an act of profound respect and prayer for the soul.
These plaques are placed by gravestones each year on the anniversary of death. Over the years, successive sotoba create a vertical row—a symbolic “wall” of memory guardians watching over the deceased. Depending on the family and local tradition, the number of sotoba may vary, but typically, a new plaque is added on each significant anniversary: after the first year, third, seventh, and then in intervals of ten years. Each sotoba serves not only as a mark of remembrance but also as a form of symbolic presence of ancestors with the family.
On each plaque, the posthumous name, or kaimyō (戒名), is inscribed, given to the deceased by a monk. This process is closely tied to Buddhist beliefs and is intended to separate the deceased from their secular life. The kaimyō is a Buddhist name composed of carefully selected kanji characters, each bearing its own spiritual meaning. The posthumous name is assigned based on various factors, including the character of the deceased’s life, their merits, and the donation made by the family to the temple. The principle is simple (and seems fairly universal worldwide): the more substantial the donation, the more honorable and lengthy the name, which can sometimes lead to a name with even four or five syllables.
These names also have their own categories and ranks, which can include titles such as in (院) for those who were particularly meritorious in life, or shin (信), signifying spiritual dedication. Some names may also contain additional terms, like dai (大, “great”) before the name, expressing special respect and the deceased’s elevated status.
The assignment of a kaimyō also has a (semi)practical purpose—it is meant to prevent the deceased from being accidentally summoned by their secular name. In Japanese culture, there is a belief that mentioning the deceased in the living world may summon their spirit, which is why spirit names are used exclusively in prayers and ceremonies.
Thus, wooden sotoba plaques are not only material symbols of memory but also tools of prayer and care for the soul. Each passing year and each new plaque remind the family of the bond that connects them to their ancestors, even if the deceased themselves remain in the afterlife.
Religious Statistics
Religion in Japan is strongly linked to life and death rituals, yet it’s worth noting that for many Japanese people, religion is not a “faith” in the Western sense but rather a collection of traditions and rituals. It’s noteworthy that, unlike other countries where percentages of different religions and atheism usually add up to 100%, in Japan the “percentages don’t add up.” This is a country with 70% atheists, but also 67% Buddhists and 80% Shinto practitioners. This phenomenon is quite fascinating and merits a separate article in the future.
Religions in Japan:
□ 67% Buddhism: About 67% of Japanese identify with Buddhist practices and traditions. Buddhism is most often associated with funeral rites and prayers for ancestors. Regarding funerals, Buddhism encompasses the whole tradition of cremation, the bestowing of the kaimyō, and ceremonies such as Obon, the festival of the dead.
□ 80% Shintoism: Approximately 80% of Japanese people participate in Shinto rituals, particularly in ceremonies and rites of life, such as births, New Year’s celebrations, and various occasions related to blessings. Shintoism is deeply ingrained in daily life, and in the context of death, it plays a lesser role than Buddhism, as death is considered impure in this religion.
□ Christianity: About 0.7-1% of the population adheres to Christianity, including both Catholicism and various Protestant denominations. Although Christianity has few followers, it has influenced certain customs, particularly in the context of Western-style weddings and the popularity of Christmas as a commercial holiday.
□ Other Religions: About 0.2-0.3% of the population belongs to other religions, including Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, and new religious movements such as Tenrikyo, Risshō Kōsei Kai, and Soka Gakkai. These religions make up a small percentage of society but have their communities and places of worship, especially in large cities like Tokyo and Osaka.
□ 65% Atheism: A significant portion of the population in Japan can be considered atheists or agnostics—estimates suggest that about 60-70% of Japanese people do not formally associate with any religion and do not profess a traditional religious belief in the Western sense. However, even those who identify as non-religious often participate in Buddhist and Shinto ceremonies, such as the Obon festival, prayers at New Year’s temples, or rituals related to ancestors and nature. In Japan, atheism does not preclude participation in traditional ceremonies, which function more culturally than religiously.
Japanese Festival of the Dead
Obon – The Traditional Festival of the Dead
Obon (お盆) is one of the most important holidays in Japan, with deep spiritual meaning and serving as the Japanese equivalent of the Festival of the Dead in Poland. Obon is celebrated annually from August 13 to 16, although in some regions, particularly in Kanto and Okinawa, celebrations may take place in July. This festival has its origins in Buddhist beliefs and has been observed for over 500 years. It was believed that during Obon, ancestral spirits return to the world of the living to reunite with their families. This is a time when Japanese people honor their ancestors, visiting graves and performing special rituals to ensure their peace.
During Obon, families visit cemeteries, bring flowers, light incense and candles at graves, and clean gravestones. Offerings, such as fruits, rice, or special rice cakes (osonaemono, お供え物), which are symbolically meant to satisfy the spirits’ hunger, are placed in homes and temples. In some homes, lanterns (chōchin) are lit before meals and at the end of the day to illuminate the spirits’ path, both for entry and departure back to the afterlife.
One of the main rituals is Bon Odori (盆踊り), the "Obon Dance.” Festivals are organized across Japan, where traditional Bon Odori dances are performed. This dance varies by region but everywhere expresses joy at the return of ancestors. This ritual is also a form of gratitude to the deceased for their watch over the family. The Obon celebrations conclude with the okuribi (送り火) farewell fire ritual. One of the most famous events is Gozan no Okuribi (五山送り火) in Kyoto, where huge bonfires in kanji shapes, such as “大” (dai, “great”), are lit on the hills surrounding the city to help the spirits return to the afterlife. The Obon festival is not only a time dedicated to remembering ancestors but also an opportunity for family gatherings and nurturing bonds between generations.
Halloween in Japan
Halloween in Japan
Halloween, observed worldwide on October 31st, gained popularity in Japan relatively recently, but in the past two decades, it has become quite popular, especially in large cities like Tokyo and Osaka. Halloween in Japan is primarily a commercial and recreational event, differing from celebrations in the United States. Instead of traditional trick-or-treating for children, as in America, Japanese Halloween is mainly aimed at teenagers and young adults, who organize costume parties, parades, and themed events (essentially a night for cosplayers).
One of the largest events is the Halloween parade in Shibuya, Tokyo, where thousands gather to dress up as anime and video game characters, ghosts, vampires, zombies, and other popular pop culture icons. Costumes are often elaborate, reflecting Japanese attention to detail. Stores start decorating for Halloween as early as the beginning of October, with themed merchandise, candies, and even food products related to the holiday.
Halloween in Japan is unique, as it does not involve any commemorative rituals for the deceased, as in the United States, but rather focuses on fun and cosplay. It provides an opportunity for Japanese people to express creativity and indulge in some extravagance in a society that usually favors formality and order. Unlike the traditional Obon, Halloween is purely a commercial and social occasion here, devoid of spiritual context.
Conclusion
Strolling along the narrow paths between gravestones in a Japanese cemetery, similar to those in Poland, one can feel the subtlety and harmony of a world that has separated itself from daily life for centuries, though it has never fully left it. There is something familiar here, yet also entirely different. It feels as though Japan is a distant culture, with a somewhat different perspective on death.
Alongside the stark simplicity of gravestones and the tranquility of the trees, there are rituals that seem foreign, often misinterpreted by Western observers. Obon, celebrated annually, evokes a sense of solemnity and spirituality, yet it is also full of dance and joy, which may further puzzle Western tourists, accentuating cultural differences.
Though people are different, one might cautiously generalize that the Japanese tend to honor the memory of the deceased with a particular care. Perhaps this is just my subjective feeling, and there’s no way to measure it... Nonetheless, here too, we see mechanisms used by religions worldwide, which may not necessarily be that different from what we have at home.
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未開 ソビエライ
An enthusiast of Asian culture with a deep appreciation for the diverse philosophies of the world. By education, a psychologist and philologist specializing in Korean studies. At heart, a programmer (primarily for Android) and a passionate technology enthusiast, as well as a practitioner of Zen and mono no aware. In moments of tranquility, adheres to a disciplined lifestyle, firmly believing that perseverance, continuous personal growth, and dedication to one's passions are the wisest paths in life. Author of the book "Strong Women of Japan" (>>see more)
Personal motto:
"The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest." - Albert Einstein (probably)
Mike Soray
(aka Michał Sobieraj)
未開 ソビエライ
An enthusiast of Asian culture with a deep appreciation for the diverse philosophies of the world. By education, a psychologist and philologist specializing in Korean studies. At heart, a programmer (primarily for Android) and a passionate technology enthusiast, as well as a practitioner of Zen and mono no aware. In moments of tranquility, adheres to a disciplined lifestyle, firmly believing that perseverance, continuous personal growth, and dedication to one's passions are the wisest paths in life. Author of the book "Strong Women of Japan" (>>see more)
Personal motto:
"The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest." - Albert Einstein (probably)
Mike Soray
(aka Michał Sobieraj)
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